Today, after almost three months of no cybering, my online boyfriend and I were just about to get it on. Then twitter locked him out, he tweeted to tell me to switch to other account, and I teased him indecently publicly, which annoyed him, duh. So yeah, our mood was wrecked and we didn’t do it. Three freaking months. Thanks a lot, twitter, this one’s on you. >.

He’ll come around. X did. She and I had the biggest misunderstanding ever. She hated me. Wouldn’t talk to me. Wouldn’t listen to me. Wouldn’t even look at me. On top of that, people were making her hate me. It was a hopeless situation. There was no way I could win her over.

But I did. I kept trying. One day, two days, weeks, months, nothing. But I never gave up. 2 yrs later she understood, and she forgave me.

If I could do it once, I can do it again. This is the guy I love. I have to.

It hurts right now, but I’ll have to get into that fighter mode again. Praying, smiling, being nice and kind, no dramas, listening to Tum se hi. That’s how I feel. Even when he’s apart, he’s everything.

Whoever’s reading, please pray for me. I messed it up, I need to fix it. I love him SO much. Please.

Ok, so I’m officially stopping thinking, planning and dreaming about marriage and family. I had been for 2 yrs now, and the dreams seemed beautiful since I met him, but now it’s obvious they’ll probably never come true. So i’m gonna stop. No more calling him hubby, or calling his mom as mom, or talking about things we’ll do when we’re married and together. Maybe things will change with time, but at least for now, marriage is off my list. It’s always easier behind the walls.

Here’s my perspective on all the guys who are “not ready yet” to propose:

Well, why aren’t you? You say you’re “waiting for the right time”. I think there is no right time- every moment is the right time IF it’s the right person. To me, it seems like it’s about the person, not the time. So when you’re not ready, when you’re waiting, you’re actually waiting to see if you can find somebody better, somebody you’ll love more, the one. And when you don’t, you decide you’re ready, and settle for the girl who’s laid her heart on your floor and let you stomp on it for so long.

You can just I’m wrong, but I’m not. It’s a different thing making the perfect plans for proposing and waiting for that so you can make it special. It’s different when you’re not ready. If you’re not ready now, chances are you’ll never be. You’ll just be pushing yourself to get married to xyz after years or months, just because you never found that girl whom you’d wanna marry the very next day.

And if you’ll still argue, well, why are you waiting for tomorrow? Tell me? If you know you wanna marry her “someday”, why not let her know officially NOW? How do you know you’ll get another chance to tell her how you feel? How do you know you’ll have tomorrow? Can you guarantee something won’t happen the next moment?

I’m not trying to bash you, boys. I’m myself stuck in a situation where he’s not ready to propose, and I’m trying to understand. I could really use some answers, this has been tearing me upside down. I feel like I’m not the one he wants. Any thoughts anyone?

Here’s my perspective on all the guys who are “not ready yet” to propose:

Well, why aren’t you? You say you’re “waiting for the right time”. I think there is no right time- every moment is the right time IF it’s the right person. To me, it seems like it’s about the person, not the time. So when you’re not ready, when you’re waiting, you’re actually waiting to see if you can find somebody better, somebody you’ll love more, the one. And when you don’t, you decide you’re ready, and settle for the girl who’s laid her heart on your floor and let you stomp on it for so long.

You can just I’m wrong, but I’m not. It’s a different thing making the perfect plans for proposing and waiting for that so you can make it special. It’s different when you’re not ready. If you’re not ready now, chances are you’ll never be. You’ll just be pushing yourself to get married to xyz after years or months, just because you never found that girl whom you’d wanna marry the very next day.

And if you’ll still argue, well, why are you waiting for tomorrow? Tell me? If you know you wanna marry her “someday”, why not let her know officially NOW? How do you know you’ll get another chance to tell her how you feel? How do you know you’ll have tomorrow? Can you guarantee something won’t happen the next moment?

I’m not trying to bash you, boys. I’m myself stuck in a situation where he’s not ready to propose, and I’m trying to understand. I could really use some answers, this has been tearing me upside down. I feel like I’m not the one he wants. Any thoughts anyone?

I guess a relationship doesn’t remain the same once you know that you pushed him to date you, to say he loved you, and you know he doesn’t want to propose, marry, or introduce you to his family… I know nothing will ever change and I could probably get out of this. But I can’t. I love him too much to leave him. He thinks he doesn’t need his own family. Well when he’s 70, his mom won’t be anymore, his brother would be old too, and you can’t count on the future nephew or niece to be in the city and to take care of him. He needs me, specially when he’s old. I just can’t abandon him. He’s got a scoliosis, pot belly, and drinks. His risk of diseases is higher, specially as he’s getting older. He’s been chronically catching cold, being forgetful and tired lately. I can’t leave him like that, it’s unlikely the guy will find another girl. I love him, I wanna look after him. So what if he doesn’t love me enough? I can live without love.